


Learn to be Still

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Drama, Fourth Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 11:28:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3727097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merry helps Sam learn to live in the present.  Takes place post-ROTK.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learn to be Still

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

  
Story Notes: Although Frodo Baggins does not actually appear in this story,   
he is very much a part of it. Any slashiness between Frodo and Sam is   
very much in the eye of the beholder. I see it, because that is the   
way I view Frodo and Sam. Readers who view the Frodo/Sam   
relationship as merely a deep friendship will no doubt interpret the   
story in that way, and that's fine, too. The inspiration for  
this   
vignette comes from an old Eagles song of the same title. This takes   
place post-ROTK, on the eve of Frodo's birthday. Hugs and kisses  
to   
Cara for beta-ing; your own stories inspired me to write about these   
characters, and your help and encouragement continue to make my own   
stories so much better. Credit also needs to go to my mom, although   
she will never read this story (and wouldn't know what it was  
about   
if she did); the name for baby-kisses is hers.  
  
  
  
  
"It's a good thing he's so close to the ground  
already." Merry's   
teasing voice caused Sam to turn around in surprise.  
  
"It is indeed, though I'll have you know he's doing quite  
well to be   
barely a year old." Sam watched his friend as he climbed the  
small   
rise to where Sam sat. "What are you doing here, anyway?"  
  
Merry sat on the grass beside his friend, and they both watched  
Sam's   
small son take yet another tumble amidst the stalks of tall grass and   
goldenrod. Frodo-lad disappeared from sight totally for an instant,   
but then his curly head popped back up, and with a great  
heave, for   
someone so small, he once again found his feet.  
  
"Why, I've come to visit you, of course. It's been quite  
long   
enough. Besides, Pippin was pining away for some ale from the Green   
Dragon."  
  
"So you brought that Took along as well, did you?" Sam's  
voice held   
an unsurprised smile.  
  
"I did. Right now he's sampling some of that pie Rose had  
sitting on   
the windowsill. I've come to fetch you."  
  
"P'raps I don't want to be `fetched'." There  
was a hint of   
melancholy in Sam's voice.  
  
Merry frowned. "And why not?"  
  
"Hmm. Well, it is a lovely day, and Frodo-lad is quite underfoot   
when he is inside, and, well," his voice trailed off.  
  
"And perhaps you don't want to think about what day it  
is, or will be   
tomorrow," Merry said gently.  
  
Sam turned to look at Merry's earnest eyes. "I need no  
reminders,   
Master Merry. I am quite aware of the date without a visit from you   
and Pippin."  
  
"And you wish to be alone? _Master_ Samwise, you know quite well   
that isn't for the best. Frodo wouldn't have wished it,  
either. I   
believe he wanted your happiness above all else."  
  
Sam didn't reply. He watched Frodo-lad try to catch a yellow   
butterfly. The child attempted to jump up as the butterfly flew   
higher than his chubby arms could reach, but jumping was a feat he   
had not yet accomplished. He fell hard onto his bottom, and the air   
left his lungs with an audible _whoosh_. When he was able to take a   
breath, he let it out with a loud wail.  
  
Sam went to the boy and gathered him in his arms. "There, lad.   
You're all right," he murmured, his lips against his  
son's golden   
brown hair. Frodo-lad was soon comforted, and he squirmed to be   
released. Sam obediently put him down, and the child was off again,   
weaving precariously around a rather large rock as he headed toward   
the sun.  
  
"He's quite a wanderer, that boy," Merry mused  
thoughtfully, his eyes   
on the tottering figure. "`The road goes ever on' for all  
of us, I   
suppose; I wonder where it will take him?"  
  
"It does indeed go on, though sometimes I think it's more  
like a   
river than a road, sweeping us along on paths we never intended to   
take. I hope his paths will be filled with more happiness and less   
shadow than," His voice trailed off.  
  
"Than Frodo's? Is that so hard to say, Sam? It's why  
Pippin and I   
came, you know. It's hard for us, as well. We thought being   
together might make it a bit easier for us all. We loved him too,   
you know."  
  
"Not like me," Sam retorted with some bitterness.  
  
"Is it a contest? Well, then, you win, Sam. No, we didn't  
love him   
like you. But we _did_ love him, all the same." Merry reached  
out   
and placed a warm hand on Sam's shoulder. "And since his  
birthday   
would have been tomorrow-"  
  
" _Is_ tomorrow," Sam interrupted heatedly.  
  
" _Is_ tomorrow, then. We just thought-. well, we know you  
have Rose   
and Eleanor and Frodo-lad here, but we thought it might help to have   
someone around who walked some of the same paths with you."  
  
"You didn't, though. Nor Pippin." The tremor in  
Sam's voice betrayed   
his emotion, but he kept his gaze turned away from Merry.  
  
"Not the hardest path, perhaps, but we _were_ together for a part  
of   
the journey. We just want to help-"  
  
"Begging your pardon, Merry, but there's naught that helps.   
It's   
like a wound that never heals, never closes. It's open all the   
time." Sam wiped the back of his hand across his eyes.  
  
"Sam, I know what he said to you. `You have to be one,  
and whole,' he   
said. I know you miss him terribly, but, you have so much still   
here! You have Rose, and your children, and you have friends that   
love you, can't you see that? I know we can't take his  
place, and I   
wouldn't want to, anyway, but you _must_ know that he  
wouldn't want   
you to hurt for him; not like this. Rose says that sometimes she   
hardly knows how to reach you; that you seem so turned toward another   
world, you can't live in this one."  
  
"That's not true!" Sam was vehement, almost desperate.   
"I love my   
family, and you and Pippin-"  
  
"I know you do. Rose knows it, too. It's just that you  
sometimes   
seem so set on looking ahead that you can't see _today._ Look at   
that little lad out there. Do you think he will always be so  
young?"  
  
"Of course not, I just-"  
  
"You just get caught up in thinking. And hoping."   
Merry's hand   
rested warm and sure on Sam's shoulder as he searched for words  
that   
could reach his friend, that could bring him from the place inside   
himself and back to his friends and family. "Sam, I think you  
will   
see Frodo again. I feel it in my heart; you two were too close for   
even the Sea to separate you forever. But you have to live  
 _now_.   
You have so much to live for, so many reasons to be happy. Frodo   
wanted you to have the life he couldn't; he wanted you to have   
everything. And you do. Can't you see that?"  
  
"Oh, Merry." Tears fell free from Sam's eyes. "I  
can. I see that.   
But it's still so hard, sometimes. Like now. I want him with  
me, I   
want to put my arms around him, I want to know he's well and  
happy   
and healed. I want him to see Frodo-lad; I want to see him to take   
the child on his knee and love him like I know he would."  
  
"That's why we came; Pip and I just want to help, we want to  
be here   
for you when it gets too hard to bear. We love you, too." Merry   
leaned forward and kissed Sam's cheek gently.  
  
Sam turned away from watching his son and looked at Merry   
intently. "Do you truly think that I will see him again?"  
  
"Of course I do," Merry smiled gently. "Don't  
you?"  
  
"Most of the time, I do. He told me that my time might come,  
too."  
  
"And it's hard not to think about it."  
  
"Yes." Sam dropped his gaze, saddened to realize that his  
thoughts   
of Frodo were taking him away from the people he held so dear.  
  
"But you mustn't, Sam. Not all the time, at any rate. You  
have so   
much to _be_ , right here, before that time comes. Just look at your   
little one out there." Merry turned his eyes from Sam and toward   
Frodo-lad, who was now sitting on a rock and happily plucking at   
stalks of goldenrod. "You have to be _here_ , for him, and for   
Eleanor and Rose, and for yourself. I'm not saying that you  
should   
stop wishing, or stop hoping. Just that you have to live your life as   
it is _now_ , without losing yourself in the past or in the hope of   
the future."  
  
Sam heard Merry's voice, but Frodo's words echoed in his  
mind. _You  
have so much to enjoy, and to be, and to do._ "I can't  
forget him,   
Merry. I won't. He's a part of me; he is so much in my  
heart that   
sometimes he's all I can see."  
  
"Then you have to open your eyes wider, Sam. And maybe your  
heart,   
as well. There's room enough there for more than just Frodo,  
I'd   
say. I don't want you to _forget_ him, you silly hobbit! As if  
that   
were possible. He _is_ a part of you, a big part, so why not share   
him with others that you love?" Merry's hand reached out to  
touch   
Sam's back, wanting to comfort but not sure if his words were   
reaching his friend. "Rose says you hardly mention him anymore,  
but   
she can tell that he's on your mind nigh all the time. Talk  
about   
him! Share him with her, and with Eleanor, and with Frodo-lad when   
he's a bit older. You grew up listening to Bilbo and Frodo tell   
their tales; why not tell your own? Let your children grow up   
knowing Frodo. Tell of your adventures together, and of your   
friendship, and tell them what he was like _before_ , so full of   
goodness and life that sometimes it made your heart ache."  
  
Merry's words rent Sam's heart. He turned to Merry and threw  
his   
arms around his friend, crying onto his shoulder. Merry held him,   
rubbing his back gently and whispering kind words. "There now,  
Sam.   
It's no cause for crying. It'll all turn out all right in  
the end;   
you'll see."  
  
Sam's sobs slowly dwindled, and when he drew back he smiled at  
Merry   
through his tears. There was determination in his eyes. "It  
 _will_ ;   
I know it will," he said, desperately wanting his words to be   
true. "Merry, I'm glad you came, and Pippin, too. We'll  
celebrate   
Frodo's birthday tomorrow, and Mr. Bilbo's as well. And  
Pippin can   
have a taste of that ale he's been craving, or perhaps we'll  
open a   
bottle of Mr. Bilbo's wine, and we can tell Eleanor some  
stories."  
  
Merry felt hope spring in his own heart at Sam's words. "Of  
course   
we can! We can tell her about Frodo, and the elves, and maybe a bit   
of Bilbo's adventures with the dwarves and the dragon and all.   
It's   
high time she heard them." Merry smile widened as he squeezed  
Sam's   
arms encouragingly. "And I think it's high time we were  
heading down   
for a bit of supper, don't you? Or are you still not ready to   
be "fetched"?"  
  
"I am. Though I'm not as sure about the lad…" Sam  
managed a chuckle   
as Frodo-lad once again teetered off balance and landed on his   
bottom. He scrunched his face up as if to cry, but then spotted his   
father looking at him and smiled instead. "Or perhaps he's  
ready to   
go home, as well." Sam stood and called out to his son, opening  
his   
arms to the child.  
  
With much stumbling and weaving, Frodo-lad made his way across the   
meadow to his father. Reaching his destination, he collapsed into   
Sam's waiting arms, laughing for the sheer joy of the day. He   
pressed a spit-riddled kiss against Sam's cheek, leaning in so  
hard   
that Sam could feel the imprint of each of his four tiny teeth.   
Merry laughed as Sam reached up to wipe the worst of it from his   
face. "Liquid sugar, my mum used to say. Though I never quite   
understood why."  
  
"P'raps it's because you don't have children yet,  
Merry my lad." Sam   
lovingly hugged his son to his chest before setting the squirming   
child back down.  
  
"He looks a good bit like you, but those _eyes_ ," Merry said  
softly,   
as they watched the child stumbling around his father's legs.  
  
"I know." The child stopped in front of his father, and held  
his   
arms up expectantly. Sam again lifted Frodo-lad in his strong arms,   
and both he and Merry stared at the child's inexplicably wide  
blue   
eyes. Frodo-lad stared back, and then reached out and pinched  
Sam's   
nose. Hard.  
  
"Ow! Here, you rascal. You're getting into trouble already.  
Why   
don't you try roughing it up with someone else for a change?"  
Sam   
swung his son onto his friend's shoulders, his eyes watering a  
bit   
more than could be expected from the pinch. Frodo-lad squealed with   
delight, and grasped Merry's curls tightly.  
  
Merry laughed. "Well, I don't see as how _I'm_ going to  
keep you   
from getting into trouble. Your dad would no doubt tell you that  
I'm   
much better at getting _in_ than getting _out_. But I'll do my  
best."  
  
Sam's smile was wistful, but the love for his son shone from his   
eyes. "As will I, Merry. As will I." Together, they  
headed down   
the hill.  
  
 _finis_  
  
I don't really consider this to be a songfic, but I was inspired  
by   
the Eagles' song, "Learn to be Still." As many readers  
may be   
unfamiliar with the song, I thought I would include the lyrics for   
the curious.  
  
It's just another day in paradise  
As you stumble to your bed  
Give anything to silence  
These voices ringing in your head  
  
You thought you would find happiness  
Just over that green hill  
You thought you would be satisfied  
But you never will  
Learn to be still  
  
(verse 2):  
Like sheep without a shepherd  
Don't know how to be alone  
So we wander 'round this desert  
Wind up following the wrong gods home  
  
The flock cries out for another  
They keep answering that bell  
One more starry-eyed messiah  
Meets a violent farewell  
Learn to be still  
Learn to be still

Now the flowers in your garden  
They don't smell so sweet so sweet  
Maybe you'd forgotten  
The heaven lying at your feet

There's so many contradictions  
In all these messages we send  
Keep asking how do I get out of here  
Where do I fit in?

Though the world is torn and shakin'  
Even if your heart is breakin'  
It's waiting for you to awaken  
Someday you will  
Learn to be still


End file.
